As I watched my husband slice the swiss cheese into cubes, I felt angry and anxious. I tried to act interested in our conversation and smile as we sat down to my last minute, early birthday dinner. But as my man continued to stir and stir the bubbly cheese in the fondue pot, I forced back my tears.
How could they?
This isn’t fair…
I don’t want to go tomorrow.
We just moved here.
Earlier that day my husband called at noon to tell me we were moving to Little Rock, Arkansas so he could start a four-month training program that started October 2nd, which was the next day.
We had just moved from Corpus Christi, Texas to Albuquerque, New Mexico three months earlier. We were settled and finding our new groove. Then everything changed. Our orders to Little Rock dropped and 17 hours later we were headed to Arkansas.
My husband and I never finished my birthday dinner that night. The fondue cheese became cold. Our conversation ceased. There was too much to do. We wrapped our exterior pipes for winter, emptied the fridge, and forwarded our mail. I canceled our son’s preschool slot and filled our luggage with things like clothes, toys, dishes, batteries, and a roll of duct tape. Many moves have taught me that duct tape fixes everything. Usually.
Early the next morning, we headed east, and I spent my birthday driving across the country. This was not part of the plan. Well, my plan anyway. As I watched the sun rise over the horizon I was angry. I was angry at God and I was angry at Verizon cellular because I missed my mother’s phone call. She loved to call me early on my birthday morning so she could be the first one to wish me a happy birthday.
As I listened to her voicemail, I noticed that her voice sounded frail and weary. I called her back, but she did not answer. I figured she was resting. . .
On October 4th, my phone rang once again. This time it was my father. He asked me to come home as soon as I could. My mother’s body was shutting down and her hospice nurse said this was it. The morning of October 5th, I loaded my babies back into the car and drove 6 hours north to my parent’s house. And on October 8th, I was in the hospice room beside my mother as she won her battle with breast cancer and entered Heaven.
And everything changed, again.
A lot can happen in one week.
It was not a coincidence that our orders to Little Rock dropped when they did. I do not believe in coincidences because I believe in a Sovereign God. I would not have been able to get home in time to be with my mother when she died if we had not moved to Little Rock. Oh, and one other blessing came from this season of my life. I made a new friend—her name was Tricia Goyer.
All I wanted to do was stay in bed and grieve, but Tricia helped me to see that even though my heart was broken, I still had something to give. So I helped her love on some teen moms at her church until it was time for us to go back to New Mexico. During one of the darkest times of my life, God gifted me with unexpected ministry and one of the sweetest friends I continue to love on today.
And yet, I let the fondue cheese become cold.
I should have enjoyed the cheese fondue and smiled at my husband. But I was upset over my plans falling apart instead of trusting God as His plans unfolded.
Life can change in a week. God knows this but asks us to keep walking with Him. We do not know what tomorrow brings. But God does.
Always pack a roll of duct tape.
Keep on walking.
And do not let your cheese fondue become cold.
Tracy Steel is a mentor, writer, and speaker who is passionate about helping young girls and women become who and what God wants them to be. Tracy is proudly married to Chad, a pilot in the United States Air Force, which also makes her a professional mover and grocery store locator. She is also mommy to two spirited children and is currently pursuing a MA in Biblical and Theological Studies at Phoenix Seminary. You can learn more about her Bible study, Images of His Beauty, and read more of her ramblings about life and faith on her blog.
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More about Walk it Out
What Happens When We Read God’s Word and Actually Do What it Says?
Bestselling Author Tricia Goyer demonstrates the powerful work God accomplishes if we are willing to step out in obedience to Biblical commands and His quiet urgings, no matter our fears or feelings of inadequacy.
Walk It Out illustrates the real-life results of listening to the Scriptural mandates such as care for the orphan, serve the poor, go into the world to spread the gospel, and love others of all races. The author’s journey, from accepting Christ’s forgiveness and telling her story of redemption to answering the call to adopt seven children when she least expected, is filled with the exhilarating, radical, unexpected life that we experience when we walk into God’s plans for us.
“I neither planned or expected any of this—from the ten kids to the stamped-up passport. I didn’t accomplish these things by making a list and checking it off. They happened as I took steps of faith to follow God’s directives.” ~Tricia Goyer
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Wow! What a story! In spite of our circumstances our God is so good!
Tricia Goyer says
I know! Amazing!
Tracy Steel says
God is good indeed. I am quicker to eat the cheese these days, Paula.
Beautiful story, Tracy.
Tracy Steel says
Thank you, Erin. Glory to God 🙂
Wendy | The Art of "Why Not?" says
Tracy, thanks for sharing your story; it is one so many of us can relate to. It’s so hard in those moments of “this makes NO sense” to remember that to God it makes perfect sense. It is so good to look back at the hard times and realize just how faithful He is.
Tracy Steel says
God is faithful indeed, Wendy. May you feel His presence today.