There are some subjects I write about that get a lot of attention. And rightly so! One of these topics is teens having babies, especially when I focus on how women can develop mentoring relationships to help these young women succeed as parents and in life.
Here is an except of an article I wrote for Today’s Christian Woman.
When Children Have Children
How this unique MOPS ministry delivers help and hope to teen moms.
by Tricia Goyer
On any given Thursday evening you can walk through the doors of Hope Pregnancy Center in Kalispell, Montana and discover a unique gathering of moms swapping potty-training tips, learning about child development, or kneading loaves of bread. This may sound like any other mothering support group, but as these attendees equip themselves for 18 years of hands-on parenting, they’re also figuring out how make it to their 18th birthday as members of the ministry Teen MOPS.
According to The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 34 percent of young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 20—and 79 percent of these are unmarried teens. Nearly 80 percent of unmarried teen mothers end up on welfare. In addition, children of teenage mothers have lower birth weights, are more likely to perform poorly in school, and are at greater risk of abuse and neglect.
For me, these statistics are all too real. At age 17, my life changed overnight. One day I was an honor student, the next an expectant mother. Embarrassed about my situation, I dropped out of school. My emotions were torn; I wanted my old life back, but secretly I also was excited about being a mom . . .
You can read the rest of the article here.
Of course, to me, this is more than just an article. It’s reality. Not only was my life been changed by my own teen pregnancy. It’s also been transformed by reaching out to others in the same situation.
Take yesterday for example. Or any Sunday. You see every Sunday one of the teen couples attends chuch with us, then spends the entire day at our house. The cool this is they’re now considered a part of our family.
Here’s how it started:
One night at Teen MOPS we were working on our craft. The moms LOVE crafts, mainly because in daily living they don’t have time to relax and be creative. Mentors love crafts, because we get to talk to the girls without having to worry about the speaker, the discussion questions, etc. We just get to ask questions and listen.
One of the mentors asked one of the girls, Kay, why she and her boyfriend hadn’t gotten married. At age nineteen, she’d been dating Nate for four years. They lived together, and they had two children together. (Kay had her first baby during her Freshman year.)
Nate and Kay had started attending church and seemed to be doing well. So what was up? Why didn’t they tie the knot?
Kay’s answer surprised us all. “Because I want a wedding, something I can remember, and I can’t afford it.”
“Is that all?” I blurted out. “We can help with that.” (And of course since I said it, I was in charge! Tricia Goyer, aka The Wedding Planner.)
So for the next few months, I took trips with Kay as she tried on wedding dresses. I called pregnancy center volunteers and got donations for food, the cake, decorating, photography, you name it. And through it all, I also gained a daughter. Kay and I were friends before. But our time together made us family. (And, yes, that means her two daughters call me Nana!)
You can view the photos from Nate and Kay’s wedding here. (Do I sound like a proud mom, or what?)
Of course, in addition to a beautiful wedding, Nate and Kay also deeped their relationship with God. Before the wedding, they both dedicated their lives to Him. And a year later, they’re still living it out.
They’re also impacting their extended families. Just yesterday Kay’s mom and three siblings joined them at church. Yeah!
On my website, a wrote this quote to sum up how I feel about writing and life:
The words we write can make a difference in transforming our world.
Our difference in the world can equally transform our words.
Having something worthwhile to write about is easy. There are 1,001 different subjects that need the attention of the Christian community. But words are only as powerful as the transformed hearts behind them. And while the hearts of two teen parents have dramatically been changed. Mine even more so.
Wow what a beautiful way to reach out! I love it when God uses something hard we’ve experienced to bless others…
Thanks for sharing this. Your focusing on the good and the positives is refreshing and inspiring! America has problems, and instead of miring down in them, we need to roll up our sleeves, get to work and make a difference!
What a beautiful couple and gorgeous wedding pics!
I know we have a pregnancy center here (Christian) but we really don’t hear anything about what they do, other than counseling. It is a shame we don’t have a program like yours in this town.
But one thing for sure, our church does reach out and love the unwed mother’s who visit our church and usually tend to stay. God does work in the most marvelous ways.
Leticia-
MOPS is an international org…. I’d really encourage you to take a look at the website:
http://www.mops.org/page.php?pageid=85&srctype=menu&PHPSESSID=6cf6b84ad0a58f454957dbeead5dc6f8
The first thing it takes to get a Teen MOPS group started, is someone called and passionate about teen Moms and families….
Gee I wonder if there may be anyone in your area who is passionate about this issue? 😉
If you have other questions.. I know Tricia has worked with MOPS, I do as well, and would love to help! 😉 (you can reach me through my blog)
Tricia, loved reading your Teen MOPS story, talk about ministering where the rubber hits the road! AWESOME.
Leticia-
MOPS is an international org…. I’d really encourage you to take a look at the website:
http://www.mops.org/page.php?pageid=85&srctype=menu&PHPSESSID=6cf6b84ad0a58f454957dbeead5dc6f8
The first thing it takes to get a Teen MOPS group started, is someone called and passionate about teen Moms and families….
Gee I wonder if there may be anyone in your area who is passionate about this issue? 😉
If you have other questions.. I know Tricia has worked with MOPS, I do as well, and would love to help! 😉 (you can reach me through my blog)
Tricia, loved reading your Teen MOPS story, talk about ministering where the rubber hits the road! AWESOME.
Leticia-
MOPS is an international org…. I’d really encourage you to take a look at the website:
http://www.mops.org/page.php?pageid=85&srctype=menu&PHPSESSID=6cf6b84ad0a58f454957dbeead5dc6f8
The first thing it takes to get a Teen MOPS group started, is someone called and passionate about teen Moms and families….
Gee I wonder if there may be anyone in your area who is passionate about this issue? 😉
If you have other questions.. I know Tricia has worked with MOPS, I do as well, and would love to help! 😉 (you can reach me through my blog)
Tricia, loved reading your Teen MOPS story, talk about ministering where the rubber hits the road! AWESOME.
Leticia-
MOPS is an international org…. I’d really encourage you to take a look at the website:
http://www.mops.org/page.php?pageid=85&srctype=menu&PHPSESSID=6cf6b84ad0a58f454957dbeead5dc6f8
The first thing it takes to get a Teen MOPS group started, is someone called and passionate about teen Moms and families….
Gee I wonder if there may be anyone in your area who is passionate about this issue? 😉
If you have other questions.. I know Tricia has worked with MOPS, I do as well, and would love to help! 😉 (you can reach me through my blog)
Tricia, loved reading your Teen MOPS story, talk about ministering where the rubber hits the road! AWESOME.
Tracy in mi, thank you. I don’t know of anyone other than the pregnancy center who helps pregnant teens. I may have to ask around my church and see if someone would be willing to look into starting MOPS here as well.
I also think we need more organizations and safe houses for battered women and children. We are so limited here in this small, but growing town.
Leticia,
When I started, I was the only person interested in working with teen moms through Teen MOPS. I an announcement in church bulletins and went on Christian radio, announcing a meeting for those interested. 15 women showed up! We worked together for many years and most are still involved in the ministry. They are some of my dearest friends now.
You can find out more about Teen MOPS at http://www.mops.org/teen
I have a monthly column on there too for those moms.
My sister had her first baby at 16. I know she would have really loved to be in a program like that. I would love to help out with something like that. Thanks for writing about this.
Nate and Kay are a gorgeous couple! Those are some of the most beautiful wedding pictures I’ve seen. Great photographer! Their daughter is just darling. Praise God for bringing them back to Him! That’s wonderful. 🙂