I should have anticipated what life was going to be like on my wedding day when John revealed that instead of wearing the perfectly suitable black dress socks that came with his tux he was wearing very bold zebra stripped socks.
John should have anticipated, too, when I was horrified. Mortified! What if someone saw? How dare he. I’d worked so hard to get everything just so.
That pretty much summed things up. I tried to get everything “just so” and John added an element of fun. It used to make me mad. I was uptight and I wanted to look good to those around us. Didn’t he know his goofy ways just messed things up? Things I was trying to proudly display.
Thankfully, I’ve eased up over the years. I’ve realized that life doesn’t revolve around looking good in other people’s eyes. In fact, when I tried to display my life with too much perfection I was unapproachable. (I’ve given up trying.) Why would anyone want to be around someone who has everything together?
Over the years I’ve learned to laugh, and I realized my home, my kids, my work aren’t an extension of me. I’ve found out what’s in my heart matters more than how I dress or if my kids are wearing name brand clothes and have their hair brushed. Or if my husband is wearing zebra socks.
When did the change happen? It wasn’t overnight.
Why did it change? Because I sought freedom from Christ. Freedom from sin and worry and feelings of insecurity. No, more accurately, because Jesus revealed Himself to me in quiet moments and whispered that freedom was possible.
I tried to make everything look good because I wanted to prove myself. For many years, I was ashamed of being a teen mom. Even though I was forgiven by God, I carried around my sins like a rotten sack of potatoes.
Through time in God’s Word and through prayer, Jesus showed me He saw me as whole and beautiful. When I let friends into my life, they reminded me they loved me just as I was–for me–not for my image or kids or home or work.
I learned to laugh and discovered it was nice and freeing. What a gift the laughter was, I’m thankful I’ve learned to appreciate it.
What a gift God’s Word is when I take the time to open it up daily and allow Jesus–the Word–to work in my heart.
As for the zebra socks … we still have them around and they are sure to bring a smile.