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Our Walled-Off Hearts | Guest Post by Mary DeMuth (Plus a Giveaway)

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Our Walled-Off Hearts

Recently, a reader on my blog wrote something quite astute: “As much as tearing the walls down hurts, it doesn’t seem to be as painful as maintaining them.”

We live in a walled-off world—walls we erect because we’ve been hurt by someone or several someones. It seems easier (and safer) to protect our hearts at any cost, brick by brick. But the problem comes when that wall becomes the very fortress that prevents joy in our lives.

I’ve so been there.

I’ve suffered relational heartache. So much so that my walls became towers of protection, and I hid my heart from risking with people. Because people are shifty, and, in my mind, were bent on hurting me. Better to build, brick by brick.

But if I’m completely honest with you, I am sad to say I’ve caused relational heartache. I’ve injured. I’ve been the cause of other people building walls. I wish it weren’t so.

So here we sit with pain between us and the people in our lives. We’ve hurt. They’ve hurt. And the wall grows.

There has to be a way through, right? There must be more to life than expending extreme amounts of energy in self-protection and preservation. What if we could find a way through the pain?

I believe there is, which is why I wrote The Wall Around Your Heart: How Jesus Heals You After Others Hurt You.

As I walked through my own relational pain and learned to deal with the bitterness that had enabled me to build a huge wall around my heart, I knew the only way out was Jesus. As the most openhearted person to walk this earth, all I could do was ask Him to please-please-please show me how to move on and live the joyful life that always seemed elusive to me.

And He showed me. Boy did He show me—through His own words.

The Wall Around Your Heart is the journey I took from embittered to openhearted, from living in reaction to the past to living joyfully in the present tense. The pathway I take you through is simply this: The Lord’s Prayer.

Did you know that this prayer is relational? Did you know there are secrets embedded in this prayer that will help you move on after heartache? Did you know this ancient roadmap will teach you how to have the life you’ve longed for—a life of abundance and hope—even after people hurt you again?

After reading The Wall Around Your Heart, not only will you reframe your relationships and learn to live openhearted, but you’ll never pray The Lord’s Prayer the same way again. This pathway has utterly, truly changed my life, and it’s my sincere prayer that it will radically alter the course of your life.

So if you’ve built a great big wall around your heart and you’ve finally grown tired of living in isolated fear, consider picking up The Wall Around Your Heart.

Tear those walls down you’ve built around yourself! #giveaway @MaryDeMuth @TriciaGoyer

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Steps You can Take

  1. Read through the Lord’s Prayer using the PDF here. Ask, which part of the prayer am I having the most difficulty with in my relationships?
  2. Ask a close friend, “Where do you see me putting up walls around my heart?” Dare to listen!
  3. Write a letter of forgiveness to someone who has hurt you. Don’t mail the letter.
  4. Look over your past two weeks & how you’ve interacted with your family. If you feel you’ve done something worth apologizing for, dare to take that first step and say, “I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”

Prayer

Jesus,

I don’t want to have a great big wall around my heart. I realize it protects me, but it also prevents real joy in my life. Give me the guts and bravery I need to tear the wall down, risk again in healthy relationships, and be an openhearted person. Give me courage, Jesus, because I need it.

Amen.

About Mary

marydemuth-headshot-squareMary DeMuth is an author and speaker who loves to help people live uncaged, freedom-infused lives. She’s the author of fifteen books, including six novels and her critically acclaimed memoir, Thin Places. After church planting in Southern France, Mary, her husband, and their three teenagers now live in a suburb of Dallas. Find out more at marydemuth.com.

About The Wall Around Your Heart and a Giveaway

The Wall Around Your Heart (Jpeg Format)

Family members hurt us. Friends betray us. Fellow Christians deceive us. But Jesus provides a path through the pain—the Lord’s Prayer.

In The Wall Around Your Heart, Mary DeMuth shows you that you can reach wholeness and healing in the aftermath of painful relationships by following the road map of the Lord’s Prayer. You’ll walk through story after story of hurt people who are led through biblical truth into amazing, life-sustaining, joyful growth.

Life is hard. People can be mean and petty and awful. But they can also be amazing and beautiful and sacrificial. God is good. He is faithful. You can trust him with your relationships. “He’ll send people to call out what is hard in your heart,” Mary shares. “And that’s a gift to you.”

Allow God to access the wall around your heart. Dare to say, “Tear down the bricks, Lord, whatever it takes.” Pray first. Ask for bravery—for yourself and for others. Risk engaging despite your hurt. Seek the shelter of Jesus.

You don’t have to resign yourself to your wounds! You can rise above the pain. You’ll usher in a new life—an openhearted way of relating to others that expands the kingdom of God. In the process, you’ll draw closer to Jesus, be healed, and become an agent of healing to others.

Mary is giving away SIX copies of The Wall Around Your Heart! Enter below. Only those in the U.S. are eligible to win.

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Nurturing Helpful Hearts in Your Children (From Toddlers to Teens)!

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Nurturing Helpful Hearts in Your Children (From Toddlers to Teens)!

  1. Read a story about people who have helped each other (try Mark 2:1-5). Point out to your kids how kind and loving behavior is appreciated.
  2. Make one evening a week “Share-the-Load Night.” Tackle household projects together like washing the dishes, stacking wood, or helping the children clean their rooms.
  3. When you find litter in a public place, encourage your child to help you pick it up. Explain that you’re providing a clean area for others to enjoy.
  4. Make helping each other fun. With younger children, take turns buttoning one another’s coats. Let older children rake the yard together and jump in the leaves all they want.
  5. Have a “Big Helper” contest. Make a simple chart and keep track of family members who have helped each other. At the end of the week, reward all helpers with a family prize, such as an ice-cream outing.
  6. Help your child create “serving coupons” to give as gifts. A younger child could include coupons for helping Mommy sweep. An older child could offer coupons good for walking the dog or reading a story to his little sister.
  7. Each morning, encourage your children to think of one way they can help someone else during the day. At bedtime, talk about their acts of service and thank God for the specific ways they helped.
  8. Remind your child that praying is also a form of helping. In situations when we can’t physically assist others, we can ask God to help in his own special way. Teach your child that God is the best helper of all.
Teach your kids to have helpful, #servant hearts with these 8 tips from @TriciaGoyer:

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Loving the Overlooked and Looked-Down-Upon

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You can take it upon yourself to show the overlooked and looked-down-upon God’s love.

They’re often overlooked in society. And when they’re noticed, they’re looked down upon. The high school dropouts. The immigrants. Teen parents. I hang out with young people like this more than once a week. I listen to them. I pray for their struggles. I hear their hearts.

What do their hearts say?

I’ve been abandoned. Most of the young people in the inner city are lucky to have one parent in their life. I only know of a few who have two. Parents are dead or in jail. Or they’ve simply walked away. Just last week—through tears—a young woman shared how her mom sent her away to live with her boyfriend, at age sixteen, because her mom was starting a new family with a new husband. And when I chatted with a friend who lived homeless for many years, he shared how he lost everything and everyone after having a mental breakdown.

I’ve been mistreated. They’ve been abused, neglected, and molested. They’ve been pushed down so many times they wonder if they can get up. They’ve been told they are worthless, sometimes with words. It’s just assumed by society that their lives won’t amount to anything. People who were supposed to love them hurt them. They find it hard to trust.

I’ve been told I’ll never amount to anything. No one expects much to change. No one encourages them to dream bigger or to dream at all. How their parents lived is how they’ll live—with the same daily struggles and addictions. Why even try?

Lifting up the looked-down-upon: @TriciaGoyer’s tips for reaching those society has overlooked:

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What I tell them:

God chose you. God has always been with you, and He will always be with you. God loves you more than you can imagine. He has a good plan for your life.

God wants to heal you. He didn’t cause evil to happen to you, but He knows how the sin of others impacted you. He’s cried with you. He’s captured every one of your tears in a bottle. He wants to take your life and make something beautiful out of it. He wants to bandage your wounds and bring healing to your life. He sees worth in you. He sees you as priceless, and He desires to do more for you than you will ever ask or imagine.

Read the rest of this post on The Better Mom!

 

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