Do you have a secret? I did … and it weighed me down for years. Today I want to talk about how to be transparent because I wasn’t for a very long time.
My abortion was my biggest shame, and only my husband and my mother (and my ex-boyfriend, of course) knew about it.
I remember sitting in Bible study and the other women talking about abortion. I thought I was going to be sick. I was sure everyone saw the pain and shame on my face–and these were my closest friends. I knew that if I told them they’d hate me. I hated me.
Then, about ten years after my abortion, I was at church and heard a woman talk about a Bible study for women who’d had abortions. I was shocked that she exposed her darkest sin. I needed the freedom she had. The hardest thing I ever did was go to that Bible study. But I did, and I found healing. More healing than I ever imagined I could.
Satan can only keep us captive if we’re silent. If we shrink back from the sin. If we try to “handle it” ourselves.
Jesus is truth. Jesus brought us into a body of believers to depend on each other. When we share the truth, Satan no longer has a hold on us.
Your “secret” is different than mine, but the enemy of our souls would like nothing more than for you to keep your struggle to yourself. To keep silent. We need to learn how to be transparent.
Steps to learning how to be transparent:
To start taking steps toward transparency, find a Bible study or some type of support group near you. Then confess to others who have the same issue. Care for each other. Pray for each other. Confession brings freedom; your burden will be lighter when you share it. I remember after I went to my first Bible study class, I started confessing other issues I had. I sought forgiveness from those I’d hurt, and the shackles fell from my heart.
Seek God, and write out your prayers to Him. Know that your struggle is not hidden from His view. God knows your issues and still LOVES YOU COMPLETELY. Read Psalm 139. His thoughts of you are greater than the sand on the seashore.
Then, when the time is right, God will lead you to share your story with others. God will transform your trials into your testimony. He’ll also help you in your struggle. Turn to Him. Led Him guide Your steps. Jesus will lead you into freedom—trust that.
Read more about my abortion story in Part Two: Learning to Face the Truth
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17-18 ESV
Steps you can take to be transparent:
1. Find a Bible Study or prayer group for women in a like-minded situation.
2. Confess your sin or shame to someone who you trust.
3. Seek God. Understand He loves you completely.
4. After you find freedom, share your story with someone who needs to hear it.
God, please give me the confidence to share my story with others. Use it to further your kingdom and to bring glory to your name, no matter how scared I am to share my past with others.
These are some books I have written that can help you as well!
Young people (and old) earn the importance of “scripting” their own responses BEFORE challenging life-situations arise so they are able to think about, pray about, and consider how to face these situations before the scene begins. By contrasting real-life with TV or movies, teens will understand they don’t have to get caught up in the drama. My Life Unscripted
From when we were small girls, most of us dream of “The One,” our future husband. We think about what it would be like to be a bride. We wonder who that special guy is and when we’ll find him. The great news is that what you do now can make a difference in your life and the life of your future husband! Praying For Your Future Husband
Women often pack their lives with family, friends, and faithful service, yet still end up feeling empty and unfulfilled. In Walk It Out, Tricia Goyer demonstrates to women that walking out the mandates of Scripture allows God to spark passion and mission within them. Walk It Out
Can I work in a woman finding forgiveness into an Amish novel? Oh yes, I can! 😂
Joy Miller wanted nothing more than to be a wife and mother—especially now that her relationship with Matthew Slagel, the bishop’s son, was deepening. But when a television crew rolls into Pinecraft, Florida, to film a new show about the Amish, tension threatens to rip apart their relationship…and the entire Amish community. Sewn With Joy
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Andrea Cox says
Tricia, thank you for sharing your heart. It isn’t easy to be so truthful sometimes, but everything is possible with God. I’m glad He’s healed you. Now you can help others with your experience. The more I learn about you, the more I realize God has the perfect person helping the teen moms. You’re so great for them because you’ve been there and learned from the experience and are so willing to share what you’ve learned. Do you realize how much of a blessing you are to them? Count yourself blessed, girl, because God is using you mightily!
Tricia Goyer says
Thank you, Andrea! You are always such a blessing to me!
Am echoing the heart felt sentiment of the first comment posted by Miss Andrea. Well said and I agree.
As a 43 year old woman that always wanted to have a bakers dozen of children, married 25 years and no children.
Found myself in health care, hospitality, nanny / nurse and safety work. Caring for literally hundred of other peoples children over the decades. Would not trade those experiences for anything in the world.
Never believed in abortion as an option. Always have suppoted adoption and those in situation of expecting a child.
None the less, I have experienced many domestic violences since infancy including forced abortions and that pain.
Part of the reason I became a workaholic for a lengthy stretch of time was my way of coping with those losses.
Then I found there was a far better way of dealing with those losses. To surrender ALL to Him and let thee all mighty be my barrier in life. Such release. Such freedom to let go of things that were never my resposibility. Hallelujah!
Tricia Goyer says
What an amazing testimony Laura Louise. I’m so sorry about your pain, but I’m thankful for the freedom that God has brought!